"Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed by our captain that our flight time today will be approximately 14 minutes. I hope you enjoy your short flight with us."
Fourteen minutes: Just enough time for the girl behind me to loudly devour an entire bag of sour cream and onion potato chips. This, after she walked on board with an open bottle of Corona.
Is it wrong of me to wish flying were still as classy as it used to be? (Okay, so maybe not the smoking and furs part...)